The last few days have been hell for me and with coming to terms with many fails over successes I just lost nearly all of my motivation and hit this wall of gloom…I just felt like giving up…
I left comments and messages to some that I am just going to go invisible.
What this means is…
I am still doing things but I am not going to be checking my social media as much and not really replying and most stuff will be due to auto posting such as posting screenshots and videos form my switch…The way the world is now…I can’t vanish…Just turning on my Switch notify others I am onilne and I can turn on the wifi on my 3DS and boom…There I am.
I am a really simple creature of habit and pretty much can be predicted so even if I want to hide from the world in shame…I am pretty much just putting a bed sheet over my body and standing in a crowd with a large arrow pointing at myself.
What I am trying to say is…I don’t feel worthy of being viewed so I am just behind the set doing work.
I am learning to get over the flaws that have been holding me back and still do what I want on my own terms.
I been doing more of my let’s play and I even uploaded stuff but just have them set to unlisted.
If you all are reading this here you can see the video if you want…Share…I don’t care…I’m going to hit the visible button when I get my will back any way.
here is that video
I am going to still be hidden but I think its best I let people know instead of just not replying and being cold….
GOD I GOTTA STOP WITH THE ELLIPSES.
Maybe I should just keep adding dot dot dot since I type what I am saying and I have these pause gaps and……Dang it….Screw it….
I think one of the reasons I feel like a failure to this world is I been letting my flaws be what bring me down…I make mistakes….I make grammar errors….I flood my test post with ellipses, I have a bit of a slang to the way I type that can make the most hardcore Grammar Nazi cringe in horror….But I need to stop caring…
I am going to work on something and not say a word and see how the results is when I do something all on my own will with no plans or no promotions to lose faith and see what happens.
So before I start saying random things and go in long circles of nothing….
I am just going to go…I have a long road to recovery and I just need to get away from too much social media and negativity and judgemental issues and just…Clear my mind.
Till I feel like appearing again…Back into the depths of darkness I go……